The big step of giving my spiritual journey attention was hard, I knew it would change my life.
Many of us will avoid stepping into the process because we already have some knowing of what may come. The letting go of bad habits, the acceptance and release of control, the lower tolerance level for bullshit. Some have not stepped in due to doubting their power or lack of resources. Benefits of spiritual well-being can be hard to see and understand when there is no example, or your path is unconventional.
Here I start my space to do what feels natural to me, build community and balance self. Check out my podcast for more discussion on this article.
My views are based on my upbringing, experiences, sprinkled with the new knowledge gained daily. The shift from simply knowing to acknowledging my own spiritual powers was a hard one. It is different for each individual. Through this blog I will continue to express my journey. I hope to inspire curiosity about your own powers and provide resources for exploring it.
Here is how it started
I have always had a spirit team. I did not think them angels, but I did not mind them being called that. They were spirits that were mine because they choose it or were assigned it by some other spiritual presence. Let me note that this was well before I learned or even heard the word Orisha. Orishas are the Gods of several different religions originating from the west African people. Some of their beliefs that I only have secondhand knowledge of remind me of my own experiences. This may be because many of there traditions are woven into the Zion Baptist church.
Some of the spirits were advocates between the creator and me. Though I could always speak to the creator as well. My instinct told me they are two different types of communication for spirits knew things I did not, and I felt things they did not. No religion I had learned about fully accepted this, though I saw it veiled in their teachings.
Being blessed and privileged to be brought up with spiritual people I thought everyone was in touch and could access their personal gifts when and how they wanted. Therefore, gifts were not special, we did not discuss them unless something came up.
From the language of the church, I understood that ritual, process, and unseen forces needed something from us, physical people. Even if only acknowledgement. This is way processes of Hoodoo feel and come natural to me.
Juju, work, hoodoo, working with the spirit, calling on the spirit, making a path, making a way, and calling on the Lord were the names for magic in our house. With no hesitation we step into a place where there is you and divine and asked for it, wait for it, know it, will it, make pacts for it.
In church our Pastor was there to help activate a person, but it is you speaking out to the Lord and no one between the two. Without saying so my family brought me up to understand that I am divine. God infused us with power beyond what we can imagine. We the creation that turned Angels heads from the skies.
Understanding grows, and it will never stop growing. I believe more than ever our consciousness can be focused into creation of a power mystical and well-studied. As the universe remains a mystery but we study and understand many things about it.
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There was no denial of spirits in my family and warnings a plenty. One of the most important of the warnings was making sure you’re dealing with the right spirits.
They can be a bit tricky was the vibe…...
No shade to spirits.
My mother never denied my invisible friend Jason, she simply reminded me not to talk to him at school. We never discussed if he was a ghost or spirit. When I got in trouble so did he. Period. Or he would have to go. He was not allowed to disobey grown people or encourage bad behavior.
Two women blessed me with a spiritual baseline heavy in faith, and encouraging of action. Candles, anointing oils, placement of a special item, special baths, and prayers in a particular way and time were just some of the methods we used to help focus god’s power or call on those god gave power.
One of the shapers of my spiritual beginnings was from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I never associated her with voodoo. I don’t know enough about Voodoo to place her there and she has never said the word aloud.
No one ever called Granny a witch…to her face. (insert heavy laugh because what is known need not be said.) , but people knew not to mess around that was for sure. My grandmother, who was the mother of my mother’s husband, and no blood relation is non the less my Ancestor. She taught me many things, both in her actions and with purposed conversations. She infused a strong since of power in me. She hyped me up every day telling me I was beautiful, smart, powerful. She showed me luxury at every point she could and told me this is what you deserve. She taught me to tide my time and energy to those in need but place limits. She taught me to stand alone and be good with that. I love her and I am grateful.
Granny insisted on sending my brother and I to Catholic school with a tuition, though she rarely entered a church of any sort. I mention that this school was paid because money is an energy, and she chose this investment. She read the bible daily sometimes twice a day or just randomly. She never spat a verse at anyone, but she did open it to certain places and place it about the house. She taught me to respect candles and how to wash things properly. My grandmother offered me the patience and stillness it takes to learn and see a project through.
From Granny I learned to see. She taught me to see processes of the spiritual and the potential in connection of spiritual and physical. She taught me to believe myself, be okay with being alone, and how to pull away the veil of others bypassing glamor. She taught me that one thing has many names and still has right names. And in spiritual matters no one process is the only one. I saw that when she lit the candle something takes place and at the end the results are what I have asked or very close. She did not question how others did things. Granny was very respectful, however when a new candle popped up, we paid attention.
My great grandmother was soaked in southern Baptist ritual and belief. South Carolina is where Nana was rooted until the great migration which her and Big Mamma took after and issue that cause them to run. On my mother side there were many churches, and I was not particularly close with them due to distance. No matter, I still witness my grandmother wake up every morning for phone prayer with her sister circle. They started before sunrise and continued through until the sun was official and it was time to get ready for the day. She recited specific verses every night along with prayers for many people, both living and passed on. She prayed that they would meet at a crossroads, and she called them out by their full names. Example. "My god let your angels watch over Roger Harris."
“My God send your angel of healing along with my love to Cynthia Harris for she is in need. Let her heart be clear of all blockages, give the doctor healing hands my God.”
“Hold Curtis Harris in arms of mercy until he may crossover into the holy place my God let him choose right at the crossroads.”
The " My God" part was always interesting to me. Now I do the same. Never did I question this though. It was Nana praying and normal. It was the music I slept by because like many southerners I slept with my Nana for most of our lives together.
Nana was an active member in her church as long as she could. As a mother of the church which is another way of saying elder, in some cases right before being considered an elder, she led services, bible studies, and praise. My Nana could lay her hands and lower the fever. She could take in the holy ghost and express it in ways that touched the entire congregation. She was fearless and absolute in her love of the spirit. From her I learned to call out to the spirits and have faith they have herd me and will answer my prayers. She would write out prayers and leave them in places. She would spit a verse at you, she would let us know the lord was at her head and her feet. From this I learn to hear and that I was never spirituality alone. I could access it.
When my nana passed it was in my arms. If you are interested in hearing about the experience check out my podcast
My own self
I have always wanted to do spiritual work. However, I didn’t fit the mold.
The main reason was I am openly gay and have been out since age 14 and I don’t think I’m bad, nor a sin in ANY way.
Being gay wasn’t the issue it was the pride in it and the refusal that it was wrong in some way. Many people acknowledge it natural but encouraged me to pray it away or remain celibate. I did not see that as an option, and I would not pray for change.
The second reason is I did not trust religion. As a black woman in America, I didn’t see myself in leadership and quickly concluded there was bias.
Lastly, I did not have all the answers. How could I explain my points, and then say I’m not sure so don’t just take my word?
Now I have a better grasp on what I want to communicate. I see that our paths do not have to be alike to help and understand one another. I see the power of telling one’s stories and exchanging thought.
About three years have passed since the time I decided to give my energy to my spirituality.
As I continue to explore, I want to share. I have always wanted to share, learn, and work in a spiritual capacity with others.
I am polytheistic while I believe there is one ultimate creator/ consciousness. I also believe there are others with significant powers in the physical and spiritual world.
So, I invite you to learn with me this year and share your experiences. Sign up for the Newsletter, Facebook group, Instagram. Be sure to check out some of the tools at www.casualdeity.com.